Happy Birthday Toon! :)

- from your #1 fan.. Elleine with ♥

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I would try to forgive you, because I know I should.

It was just sad, you got tired of us.

It hurts.

Just be happy and healthy.

Soon you will also be proud of me.

#papa

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Bubble Dreams

Though I owe you a thousand posts, my dear blog, I still don't find a time to sit in front of this old computer and type. I am so much of a busy soul since the day I born, I'm so sorry for that.

There are so much to do and less time to do them. It wasn't that I don't try, its just that I needed to do those things before the school year starts. And when that happens, I may also not get a time to type here. I would be busy for the next 4 years, I suppose.

And there are a lot of things I miss sharing with you. One of them are the nights when I am alone, typing. You know those months when I was so down, you were the only consolation I got. But then, I was so grateful to have you, and now that I don't get to type here, to put those things that worries me here, I missed those times a lot, especially these days.

It wasn't easy to be alone and poor and lonely and helpless. All I could feel was hunger.
But I still wake up each morning with hope. That maybe someday, somehow things that I'm wishing since I could ever remember would happen.

Dreams that other people already have..

But things are quite better now. It's just that there are things that we could never keep that usually bothers me. Things.. And people that matters to me. And I spend each days of my life trying to forget them, moving on.


But hey, I said that things and our lives are quite better now. There are changes that's inevitably happening-- like it is fated, after all.


I'd like to share some things that are happening to me right now.. Though my preference in music stays the same and my hair was miserably cut too short, I'm doing my best to make a better version of me every single day. I've been doing things and making them my habits. Habits, if there is such a thing, is all about discipline. So I try to do them and make them part of me.

One of the best things that will happen to me is-- after a six-long years of waiting-- I'm finally going to college as a freshmen this year at Pamantasan ng Lungsod ng Muntinlupa, taking up Information Technology. And that's a bachelor's degree of 4 years.

Maybe things are already happening, though I'm not sure, they are happening while I'm busy making a better version of my rugged self. :)  And while I was busy making ends meet, I learned that God was making his own ways, too. Ways for me to make it, using his magical power of connecting people and making them work together. He had never given me too much, He, in fact given me a exact and generous amount of money, connections and a hundreds of luck to get me where I am today. Though it took me 6 years to go back to school, it only took me 2 months to get all the things that I've needed ever since. Things that I lack so much before. And the rest, though I believe He will surely provide. It is up to me if I'm going to work hard. And I will. It will take a lot of trials and struggles and even disappointments but I believe, it will surely happen. In fours years time, I will graduate no matter how much hard work, longs nights of studying, making ends meet, crying in silence, enduring all the heartaches, and more birthdays would cost me. It took me years to be here, longs nights for the next four years will never hinder me from making my dreams come true. ^_^
For that, I'm sure.

On the other hand, me and my family have been recuperating from a great loss that happened last 2012, and we have been living in a quiet, bungalow house 10 minutes away from our old jungle. I've noticed that my mother become healthier and my siblings got a lot of friends. Mike even got to a basketball tournament and made it to the starting 5 players. Jhara have been playing with her new found friends, the sisters Jenny and Isay. Jenny is Jhara's batch mate at school and Isay is a 5-year old cutie. My mother became a lot happier and that she was always in a good mood. She have been cooking our lunch since we moved in here and she got a part time job repairing cloths and making seat covers. She told me she would be opening our new Sofalaz soon. It's just that she was still in the process of saving money for the rent for our new Sofalaz. She also told me that once our new Sofalaz would be open, I won't worry for my tuition and allowances because she could provide those things soon. And that she was so happy that even though she hadn't got a chance to help me for my expenses, I still got a shot on getting to college by my own. It was an accomplishment.

Soon, things will either get too good or too bad. I know that the struggles are already ahead but I also know that whatever happens, we are more equipped to handle difficult things. Soon, better things will happen, we just have to wait-- it will definitely come our way.


And I thank all the people who have been there, supporting me like immortals! Who have God sent to me so that things will happen accordingly. I also thank Richard for her undying support, trust and love. For all the people whom I've never imagined would help but they did so. And to the people who have been a miracle to me. And to my blog,  (whom) I owe you so much and for being there when I'm in my greatest downfall-- my warmest thank you to all of you.


I will strive hard, work hard and wake up each day happy. Because I know God want it for me.

To love unconditionally is to trust unconditionally.

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I HATE THESE.

LIES.

MORE LIES.

AND MORE LIES.

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May 25

After 3 consecutive years of ungrateful things that happened every 25th day of May, well, nothing happened today.


I only ate two lunches and slept afterward.


Well, again, that's the most beautiful thing that happened after three years.

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#RICHARDandELLEINE

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NEXT CHAPTER: COLLEGE

I've never imagined this chance will ever meet my way here on Earth. That somehow, I was never belong to the 2011 graduating class but my true fate will come later.

And yesterday it happened like I didn't waited for 6 long years. It happened like it was fated to happen, sooner or later. God was never late, I realized. He was just looking for some better way for me to go back to school and finish college. As if it was planned a long time ago.

But all these lucky-ness won't be possible if I did not work hard to get all my credentials. All the hard works are already set on my hands before I ever knew it.

But the chance-- when, where, how-- only God knows.

I will take Bachelor of Science in Information Technology in Pamantasan ng Lungsod ng Muntinlupa (University of City of Muntinlupa). 

Take note, SELF SUPPORT.

God made all his effort for me to get to college.. The rest of the things, well.. He will surely provide. I know. I trust in Him.

I will do my best to never stop again. 

I will finish it.. With flying colors.

Thanks to all the people who made it possible.

#college2014

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The Lonely
Christina Perri

2am; where do I begin,

Crying off my face again.

The silent sound of loneliness

Wants to follow me to bed.

I'm a ghost of a girl that I want to be most.

I'm the shell of a girl that I used to know well.

Dancing slowly in an empty room,

Can the lonely take the place of you?

I sing myself a quiet lullaby.

Let you go and let the lonely in

To take my heart again.

Too afraid to go inside

For the pain of one more loveless night.

But the loneliness will stay with me

And hold me til I fall asleep.

I'm a ghost of a girl that I want to be most.

I'm the shell of a girl that I used to know well.

Dancing slowly in an empty room,

Can the lonely take the place of you?

I sing myself a quiet lullaby.

Let you go and let the lonely in

To take my heart again.

Broken pieces of

A barely breathing story

Where there once was love

Now there's only me and the lonely.

Dancing slowly in an empty room

Can the lonely take the place of you?

I sing myself a quiet lullaby

Let you go and let the lonely in

To take my heart again.


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Shorter.

Somebody cut my hair in a disgusting way and now I'm sporting a disgusting hair.
I shouldn't listen then.

Anyway, for a person who once lost hair due to illness, losing my long curly hair isn't a big deal anymore. It will grow, although slowly but surely it will.

How I loved my hair wasn't the way other people love theirs. There are people who spend their whole life making, losing, growing and hating their hair along those years. But me? My hair symbolizes my strength and their roughness means the longs years I've spent. Like the callouses of my palm and my long knowledge of survival.

But it only takes a single scissor to end your hair's life. For that I believe.
Hehe..

Well, these are the one of the things that I couldn't do anything. All I've got is time.. To let it grow again.

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