One of the biggest and boldest leap..
Is doing the next wrong thing that only knows it IS right.
____________________________
05 January 2014
From Me to Me..
I'm gonna make a letter and the recipient is non other than me, myself. I ought to do this in order to make some deal-- make a deal with of course, non other than me. Maybe if I could do some promising, I could do better this year. Of course, I know what you all thinking. Things won't be done if I won't be doing any of those conditions. So I'll make a letter, that I'll open after 10 years. I would make a letter using a stationary paper and envelop I bought 10 years ago, when I was only in my freshman in High School.
I could feel this is my year. Or maybe I'm just making another wishy-wishy to myself. It's just 3rd day of the year and I feel quite depressed yesterday, hoping it won't last until Monday. But on the brighter side, it's just the year that changed, not my back aches, my personal problems and even my problems about remembering things doesn't even changed a bit. Maybe I'm just more equipped in facing them than before.
While the year was changing, my feeling on that moment was really monumental. You can't imagine how happy I was. I felt if the year could change, maybe mine could also change. My fate. My life. The way I decide, the way I look at things and the way I treat myself.
In the past years, I learned to decide more better than before. Though I can't exactly demonstrate it here, I can now conclude that I'm more better than before. I handled myself really good when I was in school last quarter and even making me an Outstanding Student. I really made it in academic but I believe, Sir Gani could smoothly fail me in Attitude. :)
Now I know what to say and what to do and what to act-- than before. I'm turning 24 years old this year and it's the year of the Horse, this is really year, I guess. You know, I'm not that emotionally balance at all and I could change my mind in a split second, EVEN my feelings toward something. I'm more of a machine than a robot. A very ugly machine.
I did a lot of ugliness in 2013 and I want to at least lessen it this year. I can't change that fast. And even if I can, it will all be lies. More lies, more failure. I just want a happy mind and a not confused feelings toward the future that's waiting for me. Though I can't be certain at some things, I want to be able to identify what and what's not for me. At least it exercises my mind to prepare for the future.
I have a lot of dreams, some of them are not that realistic. It's because what lies behind my dreams are already done by rich people, and I'm not, to be exact. So that's how things are different. But they ARE somehow reachable, if I could be a little more, and more, and more hard working in making them come true.
I realized some of what I asked from God had happened already, I was just busy making grand plans of my life, I forgot it was already there, in front of me-- waiting to be noticed.
I've taken advantage of people that's close to me and I even make a fool of them because I'm quite insane most of the time. But they are compassionate and patient. I want to pay them back somehow, someday. When the right time comes and when I can truly do it by myself.
So I'll be making a long letter for myself later after I post this. I believe it would benefit me in the long run if I could just be honest, truthful and has faith in myself.
I'm already challenge by my faith a thousand times and I run from it. I didn't believe enough in myself. Fear live inside me like it was me. Like it WAS me. But it wasn't me after all. It is just fear and fear is nothing, I realized. It has nothing to do with what I am and what I am going to be. All it does is ruin me, selfishly. So I tried to kill fear by killing that little amount of sanity in me, and suddenly, fear became nothing. Well, I could say I'm still sane, those people are not. Tahahaha!
I made a lot of fool about myself. I even believe in what's not true.. I'm truly insane. But I want to make this year more progressive and fruitful. So I need to make it in a kiddy way. Make a letter.. I know it will help. I believe in the power of persuasion anyway. ^^
Oh! I'm in a singsong there! :D
So better be prepared because I'm going to make the world my stage! :)
I'm gonna make a letter and the recipient is non other than me, myself. I ought to do this in order to make some deal-- make a deal with of course, non other than me. Maybe if I could do some promising, I could do better this year. Of course, I know what you all thinking. Things won't be done if I won't be doing any of those conditions. So I'll make a letter, that I'll open after 10 years. I would make a letter using a stationary paper and envelop I bought 10 years ago, when I was only in my freshman in High School.
I could feel this is my year. Or maybe I'm just making another wishy-wishy to myself. It's just 3rd day of the year and I feel quite depressed yesterday, hoping it won't last until Monday. But on the brighter side, it's just the year that changed, not my back aches, my personal problems and even my problems about remembering things doesn't even changed a bit. Maybe I'm just more equipped in facing them than before.
While the year was changing, my feeling on that moment was really monumental. You can't imagine how happy I was. I felt if the year could change, maybe mine could also change. My fate. My life. The way I decide, the way I look at things and the way I treat myself.
In the past years, I learned to decide more better than before. Though I can't exactly demonstrate it here, I can now conclude that I'm more better than before. I handled myself really good when I was in school last quarter and even making me an Outstanding Student. I really made it in academic but I believe, Sir Gani could smoothly fail me in Attitude. :)
Now I know what to say and what to do and what to act-- than before. I'm turning 24 years old this year and it's the year of the Horse, this is really year, I guess. You know, I'm not that emotionally balance at all and I could change my mind in a split second, EVEN my feelings toward something. I'm more of a machine than a robot. A very ugly machine.
I did a lot of ugliness in 2013 and I want to at least lessen it this year. I can't change that fast. And even if I can, it will all be lies. More lies, more failure. I just want a happy mind and a not confused feelings toward the future that's waiting for me. Though I can't be certain at some things, I want to be able to identify what and what's not for me. At least it exercises my mind to prepare for the future.
I have a lot of dreams, some of them are not that realistic. It's because what lies behind my dreams are already done by rich people, and I'm not, to be exact. So that's how things are different. But they ARE somehow reachable, if I could be a little more, and more, and more hard working in making them come true.
I realized some of what I asked from God had happened already, I was just busy making grand plans of my life, I forgot it was already there, in front of me-- waiting to be noticed.
I've taken advantage of people that's close to me and I even make a fool of them because I'm quite insane most of the time. But they are compassionate and patient. I want to pay them back somehow, someday. When the right time comes and when I can truly do it by myself.
So I'll be making a long letter for myself later after I post this. I believe it would benefit me in the long run if I could just be honest, truthful and has faith in myself.
I'm already challenge by my faith a thousand times and I run from it. I didn't believe enough in myself. Fear live inside me like it was me. Like it WAS me. But it wasn't me after all. It is just fear and fear is nothing, I realized. It has nothing to do with what I am and what I am going to be. All it does is ruin me, selfishly. So I tried to kill fear by killing that little amount of sanity in me, and suddenly, fear became nothing. Well, I could say I'm still sane, those people are not. Tahahaha!
I made a lot of fool about myself. I even believe in what's not true.. I'm truly insane. But I want to make this year more progressive and fruitful. So I need to make it in a kiddy way. Make a letter.. I know it will help. I believe in the power of persuasion anyway. ^^
Oh! I'm in a singsong there! :D
So better be prepared because I'm going to make the world my stage! :)
____________________________
01 January 2014
Happy New Year! Welcome 2014!! :)
Gosh, it has been a grueling last day of 2013. It ended so well, I have to have a severe stomach ache, have to cook while nursing my severe stomach ache, have to celebrate, jump, blow my little pink horn and act like crazy just to celebrate the New Year and not miss it, even though I could have died because of that stupid stomach ache.
The thing is.. I could have passed out in the middle of Alabang Wet Market because of severe ache.. Cold.. And shaking.
But what's more beautiful about that day is that.. It's the last day of the year and all we have to do was eat, celebrate and eat!
2013 was not my year and it will never be. It has been the year of so many downs than up. So many cries than laughter. So many loses than gain.
I lost a lot of things about me, from me and to me. But at the same time, I gained a lot of things-- accomplished, to be exact. I opened my first ever business and finished my vocational course and became an Outstanding Student in the end in 2013.
I became a farmer I never thought I could be. A girlfriend I could never imagined. And became a warrior of the modern time.
But what's still there are my dreams that doesn't look like reachable.. And the things that are still missing. And could only attained by wishing, hoping, trying and doing it. BY. MYSELF.
In fact, I don't want to wish anymore, or hope for something. God knows how much I wanted to DO things on my own and do it passionately. He had given me thousands of chances and countless opportunities just to improve my living but I just neglected it. He knows how much I want to be involve in the world-- more than anyone knows.
I thank everyone, who have been there to me, for me, for all of my family. For all the people who have been good to me. For all the people who have been so bad to me, thank you. Your hate gave me strength people. I've got my own bones and mind, I know what to do. ^^ And for the very people who have been there no matter how bad I was to them. Thank you for sticking like a gum. :)
God was never late, and He will never be.
He had send me a beautiful creator to be my guide and to remind me how to sane at times.
Thank you. :)
2014 is here.
Less calamity.
Less violence.
More love.
More hope.
More work.
More progress, Philippines.
More dreams.
More life.. In everything.
Thank you blog for being so patient.. And understanding. I owe you memories.
I am looking forward for this year.. And I am hoping for so much to happen this year. Will it be? Could it be?
Only God knows. And I know, He will never be late to give what's best for me, and for us.
Gosh, it has been a grueling last day of 2013. It ended so well, I have to have a severe stomach ache, have to cook while nursing my severe stomach ache, have to celebrate, jump, blow my little pink horn and act like crazy just to celebrate the New Year and not miss it, even though I could have died because of that stupid stomach ache.
The thing is.. I could have passed out in the middle of Alabang Wet Market because of severe ache.. Cold.. And shaking.
But what's more beautiful about that day is that.. It's the last day of the year and all we have to do was eat, celebrate and eat!
2013 was not my year and it will never be. It has been the year of so many downs than up. So many cries than laughter. So many loses than gain.
I lost a lot of things about me, from me and to me. But at the same time, I gained a lot of things-- accomplished, to be exact. I opened my first ever business and finished my vocational course and became an Outstanding Student in the end in 2013.
I became a farmer I never thought I could be. A girlfriend I could never imagined. And became a warrior of the modern time.
But what's still there are my dreams that doesn't look like reachable.. And the things that are still missing. And could only attained by wishing, hoping, trying and doing it. BY. MYSELF.
In fact, I don't want to wish anymore, or hope for something. God knows how much I wanted to DO things on my own and do it passionately. He had given me thousands of chances and countless opportunities just to improve my living but I just neglected it. He knows how much I want to be involve in the world-- more than anyone knows.
I thank everyone, who have been there to me, for me, for all of my family. For all the people who have been good to me. For all the people who have been so bad to me, thank you. Your hate gave me strength people. I've got my own bones and mind, I know what to do. ^^ And for the very people who have been there no matter how bad I was to them. Thank you for sticking like a gum. :)
God was never late, and He will never be.
He had send me a beautiful creator to be my guide and to remind me how to sane at times.
Thank you. :)
2014 is here.
Less calamity.
Less violence.
More love.
More hope.
More work.
More progress, Philippines.
More dreams.
More life.. In everything.
Thank you blog for being so patient.. And understanding. I owe you memories.
I am looking forward for this year.. And I am hoping for so much to happen this year. Will it be? Could it be?
Only God knows. And I know, He will never be late to give what's best for me, and for us.
#POSITIVE2014
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