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Valentine's Attack!


So my never-get-to-celebrate-Valentine's-thinking became real. Last Feb. 14, it happened.
Hihi..

February 14, around 8 AM. Frances called me. I can't believe, really, that I am going somewhere so early in the morning. Hay..

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Just Want You To Know

Backstreetboys

Lookin' at your picture from when we first met

You gave me a smile that I could never forget

And nothing I could do 

Could protect me from you that night

Wrapped around your finger, always on my mind

The days would blend 'cause we stayed up all night

Yeah, you and I were, everything, everything to me.

I just want you to know

That I've been fighting to let you go

Some days I make it through

And then there's nights that never end

I wish that I could believe

That there's a day you'll come back to me

But still I have to say

I would do it all again

Just want you to know

All the doors are closing, I'm trying to move ahead

And deep inside I wish it's me instead

My dreams are empty from the day,

The day you slipped away

And I just want you to know

That I've been fighting to let you go (oh)

Some days I make it through

And then there's nights that never end

I wish that I could believe

That theres a day you'll come back to me

But still I have to say (yeah)

I would do it all again

Just want you to know

That since I lost you

I lost myself (ohhh)

No I can't fake it

There's no one else

So I just want you to know

That I've been fighting to let you go

Some days I make it through

And then there's nights that never end

I wish that I could believe

That there's a day you'll come back to me (back to me)

But still I have to say (I have to say)

I would do it all again (do it all again)

I just want you to know (cuz I've been fighting)

That I've been fighting to let you go (ohh)

Some days I make it through (and then there's)

And then there's nights that never end

I wish that I could believe (yeah)

That there's a day you'll come back to me (but still)

But still I have to say (I have to say)

I would do it all again

Just want you to know

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Moon Rise

W & Whale

Prepare yourself. 

The long night is coming. 

The pale moon is whispering beside your ears. 

In the silver vision, 

dancing the dance to avoid the rain. 

Defying gravity, 

flying towards the sky. 

Look at me 

below the blue moonlight. 

Look at me in the broken mirror. 

In the blink of an eye 

I understand now. 

I'm no longer myself. 

Then moon rise tonight. 

Then moon rise tonight. 

You want me to see this different me? 

1, 2, 3 and 4 Good. Then let's begin. 

So prepare yourself. 

In the midst of a rapid breath, 

the vision is dyed red by the steam the hot air. 

Raise your fingers and tear the dark night into pieces. 

Like torrents it must pour down, 

the sky that has been pulled down low. 

I, who has tore the darkness to pieces. The wings of my spirit. 

Look at me 

below the blue moonlight. 

Look at me 

in the broken mirror. 

In the blink of an eye 

I understand now. 

I'm no longer myself. 

Then moon rise tonight 

Then moon rise tonight. 

You want me to see this different me? 

1, 2, 3 and 4 Good. Then let's begin. 

So prepare yourself.. 

Come and see tonight 

Come and see tonight. 

The me of now, 

you will never forget. 

Let's get high in love 

Let's get high, in love. 

Don't close your eyes because you fear. 

Then moon rise tonight 

Then moon rise tonight. 

You want me to see this different me? 

1, 2, 3 and 4 Good. Then let's begin. 

So prepare yourself.

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Another Valentine's..

I never get to celebrate Valentine's:

1. Because there's no one to celebrate it for..

2. Because there's work or I am totally busy..

3. Because Valentine's usually falls in weekdays..

All three reasons are true, but the first one is biggest reason why I never get to celebrate this day. And if so.. I would never know what to do- technically. *Bow*

So.. A very safe and sound Valentine's to every single human being in this lonely world. ^^,

I used to think that love is something really remarkable. But I found it's nothing special.

It's so unstable. In a word, it's all a lie.

- Eunsoo, Que Sera, Sera

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Used to be.

To be honest, I wanted to be reasonable at the very first place. But things change so fast, I still haven't get to digest the ones that just got into my mind and start to understand. And yet, the world is spinning like there's nothing to lose.

Reasonable. I, we- things are being reasonable for us when these things are on our sides. We seem to understand every single points and lines that lies inside of it. There are reasons that haven't been justified and in fact, senseless but are reasonable for us to just go along with it- doing it all the way.

The moment I lost my job, I thought of the thousand things and reasons why I even got that job on the first place. Why I decided to quit my oh-so-fabulous-work when I have but nothing. Why I decided so late that it cost so much toll on my emotional issues. Why and why, I am still thinking of having one when I know- sure of- that being employed isn't going to be easy for me and it isn't something that's for me.

On the other hand, the more I don't want to be an employee, the more I don't want to be on a business. Business, although it was unfair, was something that was already on my way before me. It was here before me, but why?

Once, I was in a bus terminal waiting for the bus to arrive, looking at people I realized, there are people who can do things and people who will do things.

See the difference.

There are career paths that one needs to have a package resume parading their endless academic achievements and there are the ones that's looking for in-depth experience.

See the difference.

But the question is, why whenever people ask me to choose at two opposing things, I end up choosing nothing.

Less is more.
Then, good is bad.

Am I afraid to lose something?
Or am I too tired of everything?

That's why no matter how much I endured things at work, that no matter how much I say "Fight another day", that no matter how much I wanted to understand myself, those people and stay- I still chose to go away. I can't stay anymore. I can't hold my tears and tiredness anymore. And I can't take the things I could never do at all, anymore. It so damaging..

Now after so many months, things still linger at my head sometimes. As if there's some kind of endless argument that can't end. It will stay in my mind for the rest of my life, I suppose.

And now, I have to think of my future and the future of the ones that depends in me. I wish there's this kind of thing in this world where one can just buy 'someone' who could do the things for us.

Funny isn't it?
I can't even find the right words to write to be exact.
I wish I was life would give me more chances ,opportunities and options in life.

But I still have to give at least a single chance and hope that maybe, just maybe, this world will again turn around like before. That no matter how fucked up life, I still have to give it at least a chance and effort.

We can never understand life, after all.

But I don't want to be the pawn, I wanted to be the mover of my own game.

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My mind is flowing so much today. I have so many overwhelming ideas that my sister can't absorb. I am too much, so as my ideas.

I AM so looking for these things to happen. Oh God, grant me the capacity and heart to make these things come true. Please, God.. The lives that depends on me and life as well will be change..

Please..
Really, really please.

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My life line.. My life line no longer exists.

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Somebody's Me

Enrique Iglesias

You, do you remember me?

Like I remember you?

Do you spend your life

Going back in your mind to that time?

Cause I, I walk the streets alone

I hate being on my own

And everyone can see that I really fell

And I'm going through hell

Thinking about you with somebody else

Somebody wants you, somebody needs you

Somebody dreams about you every single night

Somebody can't breathe, without you it's lonely

Somebody hopes that one day you will see

That somebody's me, that somebody's me, yeah

How, how did we go wrong?

It was so good and now it's gone

And I pray at night that our paths soon will cross

And what we hide isn't lost

Cause you're always right here in my thoughts

Somebody wants you, somebody needs you

Somebody dreams about you every single night

Somebody can't breathe, without you it's lonely

Somebody hopes that one day you will see

That somebody's me, oh, yeah

You will always be in my life even if I'm not in your life

Cause you're in my memory

You, will you remember me?

And before you set me free, oh, listen please

Somebody wants you, somebody needs you

Somebody dreams about you every single night

Somebody can?t breathe, without you it's lonely

Somebody hopes that someday you will see

Somebody's me, that somebody's me

That somebody's me, that somebody's me, oh, yeah

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Found this in Facebook.. ^^

Me: God, can I ask You a question?

God: Sure

Me: Promise You won't get mad

God: I promise

Me: Why did You let so much stuff happen to me today?

God: What do u mean?

Me: Well, I woke up late

God: Yes

Me: My car took forever to start

God: Okay

Me: at lunch they made my sandwich wrong & I had to wait

God: Huummm

Me: On the way home, my phone went DEAD, just as I picked up a call

God: All right

Me: And on top of it all off, when I got home ~I just want to soak my feet in my new foot massager & relax. BUT it wouldn't work!!! Nothing went right today! Why did You do that?

God: Let me see, the death angel was at your bed this morning & I had to send one

of My Angels to battle him for your life. I let you sleep through that

Me (humbled): OH

GOD: I didn't let your car start because there was a drunk driver on your route that would have hit you if you were on the road.

Me: (ashamed)

God: The first person who made your sandwich today was sick & I didn't want you to catch what they have, I knew you couldn't afford to miss work.

Me (embarrassed):Okay

God: Your phone went dead bcuz the person that was calling was going to give false witness about what you said on that call, I didn't even let you talk to them so you would be covered.

Me (softly): I see God

God: Oh and that foot massager, it had a shortage that was going to throw out all of the power in your house tonight. I didn't think you wanted to be in the dark.

Me: I'm Sorry God

God: Don't be sorry, just learn to Trust Me.... in All things , the Good & the bad.

Me: I will trust You.

God: And don't doubt that My plan for your day is Always Better than your plan.

Me: I won't God. And let me just tell you God, Thank You for Everything today.

God: You're welcome child. It was just another day being your God and I Love looking after My Children...

This.. Really.. Rocks!

Ü

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Que Sera, Sera..

♥

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Brave Sound II

Ladies and gentlemen, today is a very special day. And to commemorate this day I decided to drink cola and coffee at the same time, ate a special lunch with my family and slept like there's no waking up anymore. :)

I even asked my sister to take a photo of me but she don't want.

I cleaned my closet and cupboard and found a lot of old things (more than a decade ago) and new things (I bought but never used). Wonder why on earth did I bought those things for. There were some notes that I made when I was still recovering. I can't believe I still have them. Especially this one note.. Titled, "Cabinet Appointments".. Ow! I really could not remember a single thing about those abbreviations. But I am so sure I am the one who wrote it.

*****

I AM FREE!! ^^ 

*****

It was a mistake to begin with.

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11 months to go..

until the next Christmas! Ahaha!
Kidding..

Been busy lately. No. All the time. Doing nothing important at all. Which is sleeping.
Someone asked me early today if I already feel bored. So that I can gather all my broken pieces to breathe again.

I said no. I'm still enjoying this indefinite vacation I have. Cause I know later, I'll exhaust myself to death. ^^

*****

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