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08.01.10 Attack

I would never forget, or let's say I could never forget this day.

But why on earth do I need to remember this day for??

While making my first coffee today, I found a receipt that was signed by someone but was 'received' by my father when in fact, my father wasn't around that time. He was in Dubai and while staring at the receipt I realized it was from this certain company with 08-01-10 date on it.. 

Yeah, the one who mobbed us without reason.

I cried like hell that day. Every neighbor that I know saw what happened and it happened like a hurricane, crying was the only thing I knew doing.

I could never forget that day cause I swore to God it won't happen again. Not in this lifetime-AGAIN. I wished papa was here when it happened. So that he would have the same share of pain and hurt I got that day. I wished mama was there too, so that she could see what unfortunate life could actually be.

Anyway, I wanted to take a photo of this receipt but I can't see my cellphone, probably hiding somewhere. I'll post it sometime..

*****

Life is about trusting our feelings, taking chances, finding happiness, appreciating the memories, and learning from the past.

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FreeCell.

What is your favorite computer game? Me? The one's you won't need an internet to play.
I really love the old Tetris game where you could actually scream while playing it. But since the beginning of my knowledge at computer, FreeCell was always the most in-demand for me to play. In fact, it has a desktop shortcut and my day won't be complete without playing a single game of it.

My family knew it better than what is my favorite color. ^^

Recently, I made this 3-day marathon to achieve a 100-win in FreeCell. I reset the scoring board to 0 (zero) and started my 3-day marathon.. I already had more than a hundred times win but I want to do it this time within 3- days. :)

Here's the proof.. (you can click the photo to enlarge..)

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Is it possible?

For quite sometime, it's hard for me to do the things I want to do the most. Mainly because I, myself was the one in-charge to do the things for other people. Leaving me no time for myself.

Last year, I planned to escape. Then tried to kill myself. Only to let other people down because of my careless acts. Letting them know how unworthy I am.. But why after all these troubles, I am still here? With this useless mind of mine and these unreasonable reasons??

I started this year as calmly as possible but I still have these nightmares.
God, please help me.

*****

Being disliked is part of life, you can never satisfy everyone. But that was never my goal, I live for me, & only me.

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WHY AM I ALWAYS THE LAST ONE TO KNOW???

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Looks Crazy In Love

Lee Jung

When I became exhausted by love

I despised myself

When I suffered because of love

I only shed tears

In front of the destiny of the lonely world

I endure through a day and another

I press down my frustrated heart

And I shout out your name again

I go crazy because of this love

I put myself on the line because of this love

My heart hurts like I'm going to die

I shout out and call out to you

I strengthlessly walk and collapse

And I take out the past memories

The good days, the bad days

I reminisce and I call out to you

Tears are forming

Not being able to trust love, I lean against my shot glass

Not being able to withstand the pain, I comfort myself

Even if the world turned away from me

You were different- you believed in me

When no one else recognized me,

You were different - you gave me courage

I go crazy because of this love

I put myself on the line because of this love

Till the day I die, I love you

I go crazy because of this love

I bring up my courage

I love you

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Ruthless.

It's been awhile since my last post. When was that? Oh, January 18.

I've been very busy lately and was unable to sit and surf the web this past few days.

Sleepless and tired..

I'm wondering if it's raining outside. I heard raindrops.. or it wasn't??
:)

I.. am.. mad and sad and confused and totally worried right now.
Papa called from Dubai and told us that he was sick. No. He was sick for the past 2 weeks and was already in the hospital, that he was diagnosed with this unfamiliar.. Hay. I really don't know what to do. We are so worried. Should we fly right now. Mama's so panicked...

And I am about to cry. ><

2012 is getting good until this. THESE.
My..

Ahhhh..

Don't look for someone who will solve all your problems. Look for someone who won't let you to face them alone.

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Happy 3rd Year PHNK. !!

What the.. ^^
Today marks my blog's 3rd year in cyber space. Happy.. :)
More posts, experiences and long life!

Yay! ^_^

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Do you know what a Piriform Cleaner can do?
It can delete your files in a single click for the rest of your life. That's forever. And you'll wonder what an idiot you are to be too stupider than a stupid 'cause you are still wondering what are the files that have been deleted of your stupid self.

Bow.

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 I go crazy because of this love

I put myself on the line because of this love

My heart hurts like I'm going to die

I shout out and call out to you

I strengthlessly walk and collapse

And I take out the past memories

The good days, the bad days

I reminisce and I call out to you

- Looks Crazy In Love, Lee Jung


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Crown


There was this synopsis I've read somewhere that kind of familiar to me. Seems like my story to be exact, and then..
It was a tragedy at the beginning of the story. What kind of thing you could get from a tragedy, huh?
Hay..

I wanna put a decent and serious post here today but I keep on coming here and then log out, log in and then log out. Cause there's nothing to post about nowadays. I don't even know what is the difference between being busy and being a person with nothing to do at all.

I've been sleeping the whole day and my only break was the super-late meals.
Oh. Can I also have a decent meal??
It's so cold in the wee hours of the morning up until late afternoons. I hate the way our weather acts. As if it will kill all the people within it's reach.

My mother suspects me that I'm watching porn videos right. My.. How could she just say that? I'm downloading movies, Ma.. Movies. Not porn videos! Gosh. And even if I do, why would I show you??

I want world peace. To be honest. I can't take those true stories being told in the TV. Though I also need some assistance, I don't think I'm really at the edge right now. I wish I could do something.

*****

I have many thorns

So I have a lot of scars

Can you still hug me, who is like this?

I want to lean against you in your embrace

The love that I abandoned again and again

I want to believe again

Because I have many tears, I fear love

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Bad Day

Daniel Powter

Where is the moment we needed the most?

You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost

They tell me your blue skies fade to grey

They tell me your passion's gone away

And I don't need no carryin' on

You stand in the line just to hit a new low

You're faking a smile with the coffee to go

They tell me your life's been way off line

You're falling to pieces every time

And I don't need no carryin' on

Cause you had a bad day, you're taking one down

You sing a sad song just to turn it around

You say you don't know, you tell me don't lie

You work on a smile and you go for a ride

You had a bad day, the camera don't lie

You're coming back down and you really don't mind

You had a bad day

You had a bad day

Well you need a blue sky holiday

The point is they laugh at what you say

And I don't need no carryin' on

You had a bad day, you're taking one down

You sing a sad song just to turn it around

You say you don't know, you tell me don't lie

You work on a smile and you go for a ride

You had a bad day, the camera don't lie

You're coming back down and you really don't mind

You had a bad day

Mmm, on a holiday

Sometimes the system goes on the blink

And the whole thing it turns out wrong

You might not make it back and you know

That you could be well oh that strong

And I'm not wrong

So where was the passion when you need it the most?

Oh you and I

You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost

Cause you had a bad day, you're taking one down

You sing a sad song just to turn it around

You say you don't know, you tell me don't lie

You work on a smile and you go for a ride

You had a bad day, you see what you're like

And how does it feel a one more time?

You had a bad day

You had a bad day

Had a bad day

Had a bad day

Had a bad day

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January Bomb

The other day I got a new digital camera. Yesterday I got a new Blackberry cellphone.
What's happening to the world??

January is quite good so far.
And I'm working on getting a brand new life, also.
Brand new job.
This time.. I won't let myself fall. ^^

2012.
Be good to me! :)

The face is the mirror of the mind, and eyes without speaking confess the secrets of the heart.

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♫ Why is it so hard and everything's so complicated in my head

I was waiting and waiting and yet no answers from you 

I didn't cry because of you and you didn't leave because of me

So why is it so hard, why is it so hard? ♫

- Tired of Waiting, 2PM

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Happy New Year! Ü

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