29 October 2011

Syringe

I returned to my second haunted house- the hospital. To undergo another check-up that doesn't look like an ordinary check-up at all. Come on! Tell me what's wrong! Am I dying or what??

I really hated it whenever they command me to do this.. Lay your head like this.. Inject whatever they wanted to inject in me and tell me to take this and that medicine that's really hard to swallow and yet they still don't tell me what's wrong..

WHAT'S WRONG??

Because it's hard. And scary. And worrying. And so insane.

I hate it.
I hate this.
I really hate myself. Too much. I can't handle this anymore..


Pictures and memories are the best thing in life to have, they never change while everything and everybody around you does.

____________________________

28 October 2011

Solo..

Do you know one of the hardest things in life?
It's when you keep on hoping someday, somehow you'll find what you are searching..

And then realize half way that you can't even determine what you really want in life.. Because you have to know it first before embarking in the journey of searching.

It's empty and tiring at the same time.

Is it what people nowadays lacking at?
The ability to determine what you really want..

We were born, grew up, wake and sleep each day, do the common things that we all know we should do. Study hard, finish school. get a good paying job, date, marry, have kids, grow old.. And yet there are things that's missing.

Missing.

I smiled today with this thought. :)
Because I knew, although I am only a young adult, I knew it from the very start Papa left us to work abroad. I knew it the moment I can't control myself from hitting my classmate's face in the middle of a Biology Class. I knew it when all I want from my section was to graduate all of my classmates and yet, four of them had to take summer class, including my best friend. I knew it the moment Mama delivered Jhara and shocked our silent worlds. I knew it the moment he had to leave because of life's sucking situations. The moment I needed to leave P3P because I just felt leaving it like that. I knew it when I can't concentrate in the middle of a 3AM night shift at work thinking of all the possible ways how can I extract happiness through that fucking situation and helplessly search for a place to cry.

Maybe I'm just simply sure, from the moment I smiled today with this thought that I don't know what I really, really, really want.

I never thought of leaving them, and yet I spit out those words today.
I promised myself to love this God-given gifts and yet I spend many hours a day thinking of how can I remove them completely in my life.

Maybe that's one of the reason why I am least judgmental to others because I know, some people born with the ability to accept themselves and others have the ability to carelessly take massive transformations for their lives. Some have the ability to smile and even laugh in the middle of crisis and some doesn't have any drop of control on their selves.

I remember cheating in a P.E. class in junior high school. It's all about stretching your legs as long as you can and I said a certain measurement which isn't true. And I thought I made them believe, now I realized it was myself that I cheated. I cheated to myself.. Not to them.
And it's a shame.

We wake up each morning telling ourselves that we can do it and make people believe that we love our lives, and go to bed each night carrying the same make-believe fantasies hoping one day things will fall out the way we want it to.

Maybe because we just fancied life, than actually living it.
Maybe because I cheated a lot on myself, than actually make things happen.

And I won't promise, I'll just do it for the sole purpose of life and it's endless miseries and mysteries.

It's not inspirational- it is suicidal.

________________________

25 October 2011



______________________________

 "Hope" is the thing with feathers.
That perches in the soul
And sings the tune without the words
And never stops - at all.
- Emily Dickenson

_________________________________

22 October 2011




_______________________
Yue Yeu : A wake up call

I wanted to post the video but I can't. It breaks my heart into tiny little pieces.
It was 2 days ago when this news broke out and I watched it of course, using my eyes when a certain Chinese toddler, 2 years of age was hit and run by 2 vehicles. Hitting her twice in the head! She was lying on the street critically injured for several moments ignored by passers-by and no one come and rush her to the hospital! Until a lady with a good heart took her..

But the little girl just passed away last night (CST).. T_T

I thought of this many times before actually putting this here. Although I'm sure a lot of bloggers would probably have made a post about this, for me this is the right time to really use our sense of freedom.

Philippines and China has been in good terms for the past centuries. My mother is of Chinese and Spanish descents, and the Chinese blood really runs in my mother's side. Their looks.. Their beliefs.. Are different from the usual Pinoy. And I am a Filipina and although we live in this kind of custom, I, myself have my own beliefs.

Both countries have different laws and beliefs and we embrace that. It's just that for me, in my deepest opinion, China has no sincere care about LIFE at all. Many Chinese nationals were caught pushing drugs like Marijuana here and I'm sure there are still some. And yet when the 3 Filipino nationals were caught pushing Marijuana in China, they didn't think twice! Because there is such law that exists in their country.. They inhumanly took our Kababayan's precious lives even if Vice Pres. Binay ask them to think and have some considerations. But because of their law, they did it. I could still remember when the whole nation lighted many candles, vigil every morning and night, prayed maybe they'll change their minds, God.. We beg for their forgiveness and God knows, I cried that day because it hurts. I wanted to smash our television and yell until my voice can be heard all the way to China and still nothing. The families of the victims mourned, and our fractured government has no effect at all, whatsoever.

Not because our law isn't that tight and strong, but because we simply value life above all. No matter what a person did, committed a crime or mistake- taking ones life is an exception.
As a Catholic that lives under God's sky, we can punish someone who committed a crime but we cannot put someone's life in our hands and just take it away. Isn't it a sin already? It's hard to forgive, that's true but hell, you cannot take someone's life just like that.

I confess through this post that I have this unidentified feelings toward China, not just to Chinese people. I have Chinese friends and my parents have Chinese clients, but the government itself that I have a strange feeling towards to.

I don't know if I should hate them or be mad at them. All I know is that I certainly run out of respect for them. Because of our Kababayan's and for Yue Yue..

They simply don't value life..
I'm not preaching or anything, I'm just telling what I wanted to tell here at the first place.
I'm writing these things because I'm not a super hero with super powers, but because I'm just a fractured human being who has super dreams and hopes..

And with Yue Yue.. Through Yahoo! Philippines article:


Millions of Chinese went online to watch the grainy footage of the incident, which took place on October 13 in a narrow market street in the southern Chinese city of Foshan.


China's hugely popular weibos -- microblogs similar to Twitter -- have buzzed with the incident since the video emerged, with many online commentators hailing the rubbish collector as a hero.


But there has also been much soul-searching about why both the drivers who hit Yue Yue and the passers-by in China's wealthiest province, Guangdong, chose to leave her for dead rather than stop and help.


"The little girl's destiny made us ashamed because she left this world painfully due to our indifference and neglect," posted one commentator online after the hospital treating Yue Yue said she had died.


A commentary in Friday's Global Times daily said the incident had exposed the "dark side" of Chinese society.


"The Yue Yue incident reminds us of where China is standing on the ladder of its moral development," it said. "This is what happens in a modern society when many decisions are shaped at a fast pace."


A senior official in Guangdong said the tragedy should be a "wake-up call" for society.
"We should look into the ugliness in ourselves with a dagger of conscience and bite the soul-searching bullet," said Wang Yang at a provincial meeting, according to China's official Xinhua news agency.


Some commentators speculated that the failure to help Yue Yue was motivated by fear of being blamed for her injuries after a high-profile 2006 case in which a driver who stopped to help an elderly woman was later prosecuted.


"Under the circumstances, there's slim chance of helping others. If the two drivers stopped to help the kid, they wouldn't have had the chance to get away, then they would be asked to pay lots of money," Hu told AFP.


"As for the 18 passers-by, if they helped, they would probably be blamed for causing the accident. In China, everyone's trying to protect himself," he said.
Police in Foshan said the drivers of both vehicles that hit the young girl had been detained and would face trial.


One was detained the night of the accident and the other gave himself up three days later, police said.


----

I wish they will change their views toward humanity..
And to angel Yue Yue.. You simply deserve this post, love and attention.
You're now with our beloved God, beautiful and safe.



__________________________

21 October 2011

Triple Platinum

I can't believe this thing that I just learned a few seconds ago. That you can actually buy an album worth Php. 1.00 in Indonesia!!

Really. Dude. And that's the amount for a foreign album, not an Indonesian album..
I WISH I LIVE IN INDONESIA..

Cause know what? The minimum amount of a local album here in the Philippines is worth Php. 200.. and the foreign one could range from Php. 500 to 2000. I'm not kidding.
That is the big reason why local artists here can't even sell their albums into Gold..
Duh? Half of your daily minimum wage would go to waste if you dare buy a single local album..

Anyway.. I'm.. I mean, we are going to Marikina River Banks tomorrow night. My family would host this.. I don't even know what we will be doing there. They told me to come. They're kind of scared I'll hang myself or burn the whole house when they get off for a while..

I realized they still don't have a single drop of trust in me. So to make things good, I said I'll come along.. And ask them to bring someone to carry me. You know, my lower body is dying and it would be hard for me to drive all the way to Marikina. The worst part is that I have short-breathing moments..

Well..

Family.. FIGHTING!!!!


You can't be good enough for everybody, but you'll always be the best for the one who deserves you.

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__________________________
Php. 170

I wanted to remember this day, as the day that I only have 170 Pesos in my wallet. 
Bow.

Cause sooner.. I'll make that figures 100 TIMES MORE! With endless zeros!

But right now.. I just have to endure the heartaches of my fellow friends.
I don't have that much money to help them. My moral support is the only thing I can give.

See how great things were? Before, my wallet, my bag and my pocket was overflowing with money. And here I am, with only Php. 170

But the magic is.. I'm happy. From within.
And the story about my friends is a different one. I just wish I have enough money to lend them.. :'(

I remember receiving my pay check twice every month. I am sometimes surprised because after two weeks, there's another pay check again. Not remembering anything happened for the past weeks. Just doing my thing. But I sucked. That's why I'm here.


Well.. I realized again that I should work harder than ever.. :)

Elleine.. FIGHT!! Ü



We didn't need a story, we didn’t need a real world. We just had to keep walking and we became the stories. We became the places.

_______________________

Happy birthday Dors.. and Gats.. ^^
To the both of you.. I love you! :)

__________________
The Butterfly Effect.

I can't seem to understand things again and again.
All I know is that you're too selfish. To you and to us..

To yourself and to us who are loving you unconditionally.

You think there would be lot of them waiting for your comeback? You think half of them will accept you, still? You think I'm still alive at that time??

WHY ARE YOU SO SELFISH?!

I can't believe you left us because you have some great reason. I do believe that you have your own interests and will to left us. God, why did you left us in the middle of the battle???

I love you that's why I hate this feeling. The kind of feeling when you start to hate someone you love so deeply. The pictures.. the videos.. You think it can compensate to all the loss??

Please, comeback.
Comeback..


____________________

17 October 2011


However, things that are harder to learn and endure always leave good things in the end. 

______________

16 October 2011

E. A.




I'm already lost.

Today is a miracle.
Even if I keep on yelling and shouting nonsensical words..
Even if I keep on lying on the bed and do nothing..
Even if.. I still refuse to change..

This day, it will always be a miracle.

Thank you for being there. I wonder what would happen to me if you weren't there on that exact day. Well then, I could just miss one of the greatest thing in this fractured world. :)

I am more than happy and glad because I was also there when you need us. I wish you all the best for the coming December and will always wait.. Always wait for that fateful day that all of us will be together, again.

I AM LOOKING FORWARD FOR THAT DAY.
So be healthy and safe.

I, on the other hand will make every day, a not just another yesterday. I will never promise and try that I'll do my best because I am, in this very moment, doing all the things that I can do out of my current situation. Although it's hard to sleep and it's regretful to wake up each day without reason, you always cross my mind. I just need to wake up every nerves and cells in my body to stand, do something and start again.

Hey! Where are you motivation??!!

I will do my best and work hard. Because the more I see you now, the more that I should work hard.
There's no end because our undying ties will never be broken.

God, I'm tearing up!

It's still a long journey but I already set my heart for that day. Just that day need to come.. :)
Believe in yourself and believe in us. I will never let you fade away! SHINE!!

Thank you and I will always love you.
Horray!!! <3

P.S.
Cheat? Haha! If the world betrays you, then I will betray the world.
I'm building bridges now..


__________________________

15 October 2011

L.O.V.E.

I never wanted to be a poet or something, especially in the middle of a good morning wake up. But find myself muttering some words I got from being in this state for the past months.

"Love, is the combination of respect and trust."


To be honest, it's hard to sleep and it's hard to even determine what I really wanted to say here.
I've been so sleepless, restless and very tired, but it's hard to close my eyes for just one minute.
I need to physically tired myself, when in fact it's also hard to move around with my lower body condition.

I told Eloida that I'm sleepless and she said, "Sleepless? Did you just slept last night before I've gone to work and found you still sleeping after I got home. And now I am about to leave, finding you just waking up, just right now. And you, telling me that you're sleepless? Never wake up anymore!" My sister is so caring. She even know all the solutions to every problem. ^^

"..it's the combination of respect and trust."


The thought of the name of that call-center company makes my heart jump in excitement and hurt  at the same time. It's been months since I resigned and it's been months since I keep on telling you that it's been months since I've been here, just wandering.
Wandering.


I thought I'm getting better but hell, no.
Things sucks.

Just the thought of it makes my heart ache. The most strange and familiar feeling that still in my heart for the past months. I wish it would just fade away.

When I was still there, I thought of all the possibilities and ways to escape. And when I got out of it, it left me with no home. When I was still there, it's hard to look at the mirror and fix my damn hair. And when I got out of it, it's still hard to look at the mirror and say hello to my reflection. When I was still there, it's hard to find someone to eat with in the cafeteria, that's why I spent my last days eating at the bathroom floor near the back stairs, at the last cubicle in the row. It was nice there, though. If that cubicle could just talk, that could say a lot of stories and tears. That cubicle was the most peaceful place in that hell. But still, even if I got out of it, I still eat by myself here with no one to eat with and no one to talk to.

Things, are just.
And I realized that I just spit out one of the thousand lessons I got from that experience. It's easy to say that we love someone. It's even easy to say that we admire people just by looking at them. But in fact, the true meaning of love is that you have to have that kind of respect and trust to love someone so deeply, so real. And even though I said a million times that I love my work, it was so hard to find the right amount of respect and trust to love them, for me to stay.

Maybe because I just fancied my work more than truthfully love it.
I blow myself off and faded away alone.
And it's nice and weird at the same time to realize these things months after that horrible experience. I'm starting to repair myself, I wish no more nightmares anymore. :)

I thank people who continuously understand and support me even if all they see is nothing in me.
Thank you peeps. :)



I'll show you mine if you show me yours first
Let's compare scars, I'll tell you whose is worse
Let's unwrite these pages and replace them with our own words

- Swing Life Away, Rise Against

_____________________________

13 October 2011







“This is a good sign, having a broken heart. It means we have tried for something.” 
― Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love

____________________

12 October 2011




I might have to wait, I'll never give up
I guess it's half timing, and the other half's luck
Wherever you are, whenever it's right
You'll come out of nowhere and into my life

- I Haven't Met You Yet, Michael Buble


____________________
Blind


I sometimes write here just to know what is the exact date today.
See the date on the upper left of every post? Hehe..

We have 3 calendars still hanging somewhere I don't know. The one is near this computer but whenever I need to know the date, it's hard for me to even glance at it. And whenever I am in front of the calendar, it's more harder to guess what month and what day is today..

One of the big questions that's so difficult to answer when you have no idea what the hell is the date today.

Really.

I usually get to know the date through this blog and wonder why the days run so fast- next month is already November. I just need to close my eyes a little more and aha! It's 2012. ^^

And why my hot coffee turned cold already?
It's freezing outside..

The weather's sick. And I don't want to explain my country's dreaded situation.

All is well in here, I hope you, too. :)

Soon, my writing would be finish and I can't wait to learn all the contents of it.
Imagine? I'm still writing until now? Since April of last year.

Well, I'm just so devoted to this thing, people keep on asking if when will I would have the chance to use this.

And I just say, "Soon."

Dude, SOON!
Sooner I'll will need to use this!
Seriously.
I even advised my family to do the same thing.
It's like a token.

They will become an outcast if they don't.
^^

Can't understand what am I saying?
Then just get off! :D

PUHAHAHA.




"..leave me with some kind of proof it's not a dream"
- The Only Exception, Paramore

___________________

09 October 2011

Fuel.

You're like that. You propels me forward. :)
But just like any other fuels, your price gets higher every minute.
Time will come that I could  never afford you..

Every time I see all of you, it makes me envious and inspired at the same time. I just hope that you won't get hospitalize because of serious fatigue, huh.

And every time I see you, you always remind me that I should work hard and make myself better, that I should take good care of my health because on the not-so-distant future, things will fall into their right places. Thank you for always reminding me those things.

Umaga na!
Umaga na naman at meron naman akong nagawang maganda. ^^
Hate this lifestyle. 24 hour isn't enough for someone who doesn't even have a job.
Hehe..

I will have again, just wait. :)

It rained last night. And it's raining since last week. Everyone of us got sick, I wonder who's next. I wish the neighbor next door would stop singing. I believe he is the big reason why we have typhoons! Haha.. His voice angers the sky, sending the whole country the massive rainfalls and storms.

Can mother nature just give Philippines a fair weather?? Not so hot and not so cold weather?? Just the average weather that I everyone wants.

Another day..
Good morning!

"The future's near, but never certain"
- If The Moon Fell Down Tonight, Chase Coy

_____________________

08 October 2011

Black, black, black and blue..

♫ Beat me 'til I'm numb
Tell the devil I said "Hey"
When you get back from where you from.. ♫

Here I am again. And this feeling. Can someone explain to me why I always feel this.
I already said this here before, just recently..

It's when you feel like you weren't been there but you did. You were there before.

It's when you really like something- you even fight for it. And yet, it seems that you never liked it, really. Just that you realized..

It's when you once love something or someone and wake up one morning, realizing you did NOT. Never.

You know that kind of feeling??
It's scary as hell. As if you also do not know yourself.

What you want..
What you did want..

But maybe, just because.
Just because.

And I just realized something while typing this in here.. is that..
Maybe we need those things to help us know ourselves better.

I remember making that old template before. I spent so many days just to satisfy myself. I thought I love that template. Loved. The title image down to simplicity of it's content. But then, I just realized that after spending the whole night up until now.. I wonder where that love have gone..

It disappeared.
Without any marks that, I, once have a great affection for that design.

Where's that significance go??

And now, here I am again, fulfilling the last thing on my project list. :)
I somehow manage to success in this project, excluding the Write It All part. Duh? It's more than 400 pages, and I cannot do that for 4 days. Maybe if I cheat on myself, tear off the 300 pages of it or just tell you that I did finish write the WHOLE book.

If that so..
Then to whom did I lied to, then?

Of course, to myself.
That's why I keep on being honest, as possible as I can..
Tell everything that I want to share because this is the only contribution I can give to the sacredness of being a human.

Cheating is a nature of human being..

That's why.
That's why I made a decision to give this sanctuary another chance to grow.
Along with me, I wish.

Welcome to my new blog!
No.
Welcome to my blog with it's new design.
No. No.
Welcome to my blog! I wish you would like the design..
I made it! ^^

Haha..
What a princess disease.

It's okay.
As long as I don't look like a hypocrite. :)

About the simple transformation of my blog..
I thought of the color green and yellow.
But I'm sorry.
I love black.
Just love black. ♥

The image header is really funny. But it has a lot of meanings.
The lines and the colors.
And the background..
It's very "me"..

But I think it's not the time to put the comments section. To be honest, I blog but I can't remember when I did visit other blogs. That's why I removed the comment section and just write it my blog as long as I have a time..

Still, only one person who personally know me, knew that I have a blog.
She isn't even a family or relative..


It's always just me and my blog..
Woooo! :)
Hurray!!!!


I wish I have a lot to say in here than rant about life.
I'm happy because I'm satisfied and realized that there will always those things that I cannot fix and cannot do about. 

I just accept them as they are..
And sometimes wait for it, to see what exactly it's form..

There would be people who'll come and change things..
There would be tragedies and heartaches..

Just that I wish, along with it- there will also happiness. :)


*****

This song became my companion the whole night- looking, staring and thinking about this whole new design.. :)


God Gave Me You
Bryan White

For all the times I felt cheated, I complained
You know how I love to complain
For all the wrongs I repeated, though I was to blame
I still cursed that rain
I didn't have a prayer, didn't have a clue
Then out of the blue

God gave me you to show me what's real
There's more to life than just how I feel
And all that I'm worth is right before my eyes
And all that I live for though I didn't know why
Now I do, 'cause God gave me you

For all the times I wore my self pity like a favorite shirt
All wrapped up in that hurt
For every glass I saw, I saw half empty
Now it overflows like a river through my soul
From every doubt I had, I'm finally free
I truly believe

God gave me you to show me what's real
There's more to life than just how I feel
And all that I'm worth is right before my eyes
And all that I live for though I didn't know why
Now I do, 'cause God gave me you

In your arms I'm someone new
With ever tender kiss from you
Oh must confess
I've been blessed

God gave me you to show me what's real
There's more to life than just how I feel
And all that I'm worth is right before my eyes
And all that I live for though I didn't know why (didn't know why)
Now I do (I finally do), 'cause God gave me you (God gave me You)

God gave me you

_____________________
Running out of life..

I wish this is just like running out of ink. But it's actually running out of life.
Dude, thanks. I just can't see you like that.

^^

Thanks for all the love. Through distance, ocean's apart- we're still "we"..

You will always be like that to me.
Let's leave it that way.
No more memories to add.
Just like that.
A summation.
Conclusion.
End.



And..

:)


Me. U.




**
OT.

I searched the word 'notebook', looking for some pictures of an actual picture of notebook but Google, again failed to give me what I'm searching for. It gives me some pictures of Mac Book.
What an idiot! ^^

To Steve Jobs.. Thanks for making billions of people's lives easier. A true innovator, an artist.

Is it a coincidence?

Thank you.

_______________________

06 October 2011

Farewell

Isn't it too obvious that I really lack the ability to think of a better title for my posts?
In fact, thinking of what title would have for this post, I suddenly realized that the titles I posted from my previous posts was all that I wanted to say. It's like a summary of what were being written. Like a code..

Google and YouTube became the next things that I love aside from my mp3 and guitar- the things that I really wanna tell you, two months ago. I don't know. It's just that my day wouldn't be complete without them. Hehe..

I know you would tell me, "Why websites? You can love people!!"
Well, the fact that we, basically knew already that things especially cyber space would never have feelings is like a token for us people who could never bear if we find out that they wouldn't love us back. So.. Maybe you already got my point?..
No questions.. 

Secondly, every time I make new templates for this blog, I end up throwing it. Deleting it FOR GOOD.
I made one. Like what I'd promised last month. But it's hard as hell to even go to Design Option. Maybe, I just got to love this design. This simple template has grown on me. When I made this, it took me many days to  really appreciate my own design. I got tired and isn't satisfied in the process, but found one that really passed my standard.

Okay, I'll think about it again. Maybe before the end of this month, I'll change it to something sunny and cheerful. Or. Not. At. All.

Mongol just visited us. I missed this guy. He is the only cousin that's really close to me. We're the same age and he was my classmate and companion since Kindergarten. But things, again, fall apart. He became like that and I eventually ruined my life. I sometimes envy him. Because despite all the hardships- God only knows- he always made it through. When in the other side, the girl who used to be very strong and positive became the weakest, rotten, living decay.. 

Life is like that. A whirlwind of happenings.


I wonder how Mad Hatter endure all the pain..
I love you Google. Will you marry me.
I do.


I keep on thinking about the show. Will they show? If that so, then should I get a job?
A real, good one.
If not, then should I go to Europe for that?
I wonder. I wonder.
I keep on thinking. I keep on thinking.

I keep on thinking whether I should change this blog's template and whether, just whether I should really go over there just to see you.
THIS really annoys me.

Sanity, where are you?


Anyways, I am a little bit relieved when I got the news. Hehe. ^^
With all honesty, I am so happy that it happened.
Oh my!


I was about to jump when I heard about it and was excited what would happen next. But I didn't jump. My lower body couldn't manage my weight and the next news would probably be out the next, next day.
So I'll wait.

I'll wait for all of you. I'll wait until 2018 and me meet. Until this thing would be remove and the thing under would be cut and when he come back from the fall and when you came back from that parking lot and when the marriage become successful and until the last would be back home.

That would be 7 long years.
But I'll wait.
I promise that.

No matter if the bananas became real and no matter how much money I'll spend on that G9x.
I'll wait.

And how I wish I am still alive at that time. :)

Changing this weird drama..
I made a time capsule using my old columnar book. ^^
PUHAHAHAHAHA..

It's really funny and dramatic and insane at the same time.
I can't believe I just made one early this day. Just to ease the pain.
Just thinking that 2018 is a big no joke.

I will.
I'll wait.
You'll be back.
And you'll make a good comeback to life.

Woosh! Who the devil am I to say this? I can't even stand on my own feet and yet I keep on advising you.
A pervert, indeed. =X

Oh. When will I ever finish that thing? Today, I made a good writing. From 1AM until 5PM.
It was cool, but again, insane.




































































It's really uncertain.
But it's worth.
I'm happy, I did it.
















All the times that I cried, keeping all the things I knew inside, 

It's hard, but it's harder to ignore it. 
If they were right, I'd agree, but it's them They know not me. 
Now there's a way and I know that I have to go away. 
I know I have to go. 

- Father and Son, Cat Stevens

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02 October 2011



"Once again.. with a grateful heart."


There isn't a person anywhere who isn't capable of doing more than he thinks he can.
- Henry Ford

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