Weekend!

Hindi ko sinusunod ang mga araw natin dito sa 'Pinas. Dahil na rin siguro sa uri ng trabaho ko kaya tinuturing kong weekend ang Sunday at Monday. Ito kasi ang mga araw kung saan wala akong pasok. :)
What's with the weekend, anyway? I'll be doing my laundry and clean my stuff today or maybe for the whole day, I guess.

At this moment, I'm listening to U-Kiss Binguel Bingeul, and it makes me dance. :) I can't wait for next month's menu, will I ever finish the task earlier or not?

Kailan naman kaya ako makakabili ng cellphone? Napaka-unattainable naman kasi ng goal ko kaya kahit iyong pagbili ng cellphone nadadamay pa, hihi. Hayy, di pa din ako nakakabawi, ika nga sa kanta eh, "And honestly, I'm down like the economy." Ang dami kong gustong gawin pero hindi ko magawa. Nakakaawa talaga ako.

Gusto kong magsimba, pero hindi ko din magawa. Patawad.
Sana magawa ko naman iyon mamaya.

Kung magiging mahigpit lang ako sa sarili ko, magiging maginhawa ang lahat. At matatapos ko agad iyon ng maaga pa sa  6 months na inaasahan ko. So this coming Christmas, masaya ang pamilya. ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺

Nakarecover na din ako sa sigalot na naganap. Nakakatawa at nakikihalubilo na din ako sa kanila. Just feeling sorry for the others 'cause they are still having a bad time dealing with those damn clients. At least I'm out na.. :) Safe na ako.. :D Hehe..

Patapos na din ang January, sana naman may mangyaring maganda ngayong February. ♥
At sana, hindi na ako masyadong inaantok sa trabaho. Pesteng schedule  naman kasi yan! Ang hirap ng kalagayan ko kung parating ganito.  Nagsa-suffer ang buong linggo pati na performance ko kung lagi akong pagod at kulang sa tulog. Kapag naman nakabawi ng tulog, ganoon pa din, parang pagod at gusto ko lang ay humiga. Argg...

Tumataba na naman ako. Lagi naman. Lagi naman akong mataba, kelan ba ako pumayat?
Kaso habang tumatagal, nagiging problema ko na talaga ito. Hayy..
Dapat talagang mag-exercise, lalo na kapag nauubusan na naman ako ng dugo dahil sa magulong sakit na ito.. damn.

Nga pala, naiinis ako sa pinalitan kong Lead, mukhang adik lang. Tinanong ko siya kung ano ibig sabihin ng 'trustee'.. sagutin ba naman ako ng, "May dictionary ba kau sa bahay? Tignan mo dun." .. grrr
May mga ganoong tao, ano? Akala mo cool na cool sila, eh hindi naman. Mukha pa silang adik kung tignan. Literally. Anyway, wala naman na siya kaya wafakelz na 'ko. Bwahehe.. *bad*

Good morning half of the world! :)
Time for wanderlust again. ☺

불행해요.

____________________

Close to my ♥ :)

No other thing in my life has known me deeply beside you.
Thank you for being there despite the fact that I owe you a lot of posts and attention. Hihi..

I was thinking of changing my blog's template lately. I actually did this template so that my blog would really be personalized since this is my blog after all. And because lately I'm feeling depressed, I might also do this to release my anger.. bwahahaha.. if that depression can be labeled into angriness. :D

Aww.. and I even forgot that this blog just turned two years old last January 18! I forgot, forgive me. I was just so busy. Anyway..

Happy 2nd Year Anniversary PahinaKo. :)
So glad I have you through these past two years.. and am willing to continue sharing my thoughts through you. :)

Two things I love about my blog is that it doesn't contain any labels. :)
I want every posts to be the way it is. Not labeled with something..
The second one is that it still on it's low profile. Not because I don't comment on other people's blog but because of not destroying the privacy I'm still having in spite of this blog being in the public eye. :)

More posts.
More photos.
More original words.
And no labels, hehe. ☺

Those who visit and read my posts, thank you.  ♥

------

And for all the things that happened last week, I should still be thankful to God. I realized, He still knows what's really good for you, even if you keep on pushing that you know what's good for your life. He even pull me down so I can see where to go. I cried for two days just so I can wipe my tears and my eyes be cleaned so I can finally see what I'm missing- reason. I am not far from a walking dead if He didn't do that.

Thank you papa Jesus.
I don't even know if that Thank You is enough. I should also do my part, taking care of myself and my family, and be sane all the time, even in times like this. Thank you.
This is not failure, I guess. From where I am standing right now, I could say that this is an opportunity to grow. An opportunity to show to the world what are the things I can do and capable of doing, to the extent of giving my best and trying every time I fall.

And I love you because of that. :)

Tonight's my 4th night at NorCal. Hold me so I can be the best of me. :) And please help my friends who's suffering from the same things I am suffering. Help them to be strong and feel worthy of themselves.

I'm always asking you for things I don't need, now I'm giving this moment to listen to what you're trying to say to me. Thank you for everything.

------

Happy 2nd Year Anniversary mahal kong diary.. :)

Thank you papa Jesus.

♥

____________________

And honestly I'm down like the economy..

Gaano katagal para sa mundo ang magbago? Malamang, bawat segundo.
May mga bagay tayong hindi mapigilan na mangyari. Parang kahapon lang, ang dami-dami kong plano para sa buhay ko. Tapos sa isang iglap parang gusto ko na agad sumuko at bumalik na lang sa dati. Kahit na alam kong may mga taong umaasa sa akin- siguro dahil alam kong maiintindihan naman nila kung sakaling sumuko ako.

Pero hindi, all this time akala ko ginagawa ko ito para sa kanila. Hindi pala. Umuwi ako agad galing trabaho. Malungkot akong pumasok ng bahay. Tahimik silang lahat at patay ang ilaw. Tulog pala sila.. Sinubukan kong gisingin si Biboy. Pero mahimbing siyang natutulog. Gusto ko lang siyang makitang gising- o siguro gusto ko lang talagang may taong gising nang dumating ako. Hindi pala madali maging matapang. Hindi pala ganoon kadali para maging masaya. At hindi din kadaling huminga ng mga sandaling iyon.. ang humanap ng karamay pagkatapos ng trahedya.. Inisip ko tuloy kung karma ba ito. O isang bagay na dapat i-celebrate dahil nangyari. Sa sobrang sakit ng naramdaman ko eh hindi na ako makapagsalita. Dahil na rin siguro sa nawala na lang ng tuluyan ang isip ko.

Bakit ako? Gusto ko tuloy magduda sa sarili ko. Anong mali? Anong nagawa ko para ako?..
Mahirap humanap ng magandang bagay sa isang pangyayaring hindi mo naman kagustuhang mangyari.
Sino ba ang may gusto? Ako? Marahi hindi...

Nakakalungkot lang. Hindi ko talaga alam na mangyayari ito.
Siguro dapat ko laging ipaalala sa sarili ko na wala naman talagang permanente. Huwag na lang umasa na magtatagal at parating mag-iwan ng hinuha sa mga bagay na posibleng mangyari.

Dapat bang magpasalamat?
O dapat bang magalit?

Ito ang mga pagkakataon sa buhay na hindi ko alam kung saan banda magsisimula.
Mga pagkakataong hindi ko alam kung dapat bang magpatuloy o hindi na.
Mga pagkakataon sa buhay na matulog na lang at huwag ng gumsing pa. :)

Mga pagkakataong lumalaban ka pero alam mo naman na walang nagtsi-cheer sa'yo at sasabihing, "Ituloy mo lang kasi kaya mo 'yan!"..

At ito din ang isa sa mga pagkakataong nagpabago sa isip at nararamdaman ko. All this time, ginagawa ko pala lahat ng mga bagay na ito PARA SA SARILI KO LANG, at hindi para sa iba. Kaya kung susuko ako ako din ang talo. Ako din ang mawawalan sa huli at hindi ang mga taong inaakala kong dahilan kung bakit ako gumigising at sinasalubong ang buhay ng may lakas ng loob. Ang lahat pala ng mga bagay na ito ay para lang sa akin dahil ang totoo pala ay wala naman akong dahilan. That all this time.. I'm just fooling myself. Now I know. At kahit na mawala ako ay hindi na importante pa..

Solution? Magpapatuloy na lang ako sa nasimulan ko. Masyadong malaki ang mundo at napakaraming pagkakataon pa para bumangon.. at maraming beses pang sasakit ang puso ko dahil sa mga bagay na pinapahalagahan kong hindi naman ako magawang pahalagahan.

Ngingiti ng totoo at mabubuhay ng walang inaasahan.
Kakayanin ang bawat bagay dahil alam kong kaya ko ito. :)

____________________

Simply Perfect.

RLA

_____________________

NORCAL

Tonight's my third day at NorCal.
Gonna welcome myself on my newest group. No choice, I have to leave the RLA, and go back upstairs to face another a-whole-new-world-group with Northern California (NorCal).

I'm not happy.
But I have to.
I even asked about it and they did, as in, literally did.

And because there's no other way to get back, than to give my 300% effort to make it every night.



I asked Him for a reason. The true reason behind it and a reason to continue what I had started.
Hayyy.. so strange talking about this one. I have to leave them and you.. it was so depressing, I could feel my heart skip a bit every time I think about it.


I'll truly miss RLA and you as well.
But I have to do this even if I know there's always that last option- to quit.

And you simply know damn well why I'm doing this..
It's because of them.


Thank you RLA family.
Hello NorCal! :)

____________________

Down

Jay Sean

Baby are you down down down down down,
Downnnnnnn, downnnnnnn,
Even if the sky is falling down,
Downnnnn, downnnnn
Ooohhh (ohhh)

You oughta know, tonight is the night to let it go,
Put on a show, I wanna see how you lose control,

So leave it behind cause we, have a night to get away,
So come on and fly with me, as we make our great escape.

So baby dont worry, you are my only,
You wont be lonely, even if the sky is falling down,
Youll be my only, no need to worry,
Baby are you down down down down down,
Dowwwnnnnn, Dowwnnnnn,
Baby are you down down down down down,
Downnnnn, Downnnnnn,
Even if the sky is falling down,

Just let it be, come on and bring your body next to me,
Ill take you away, hey, turn this place into our private getaway,
 

So leave it behind cause we, have a night to get away,
So come on and fly with me, as we make our great escape,
(So why dont we run away)

So baby dont worry, you are my only,
You wont be lonely, even if the sky is falling down,
Youll be my only, no need to worry,

Baby are you down down down down down,
Dowwwnnnnn, Dowwnnnnn,
Baby are you down down down down down,
Downnnnn, Downnnnnn,
Even if the sky is falling down,

Even if the sky is falling down like she's supposed to be,
She gets down low for me,
Down like her temperature, cause to me she zero degrees,
She cold, overfreeze,
I got that girl from overseas,
Now she's my miss America,
Now can I be her solger please,
Im fighting for this girl,
On a battlefield of love,
She got me look like baby cupid sending arrows from above,
Dont you ever leave the side of me,
Indefinitely, not probably,
And honestly I'm down like the economy,
Yeahhhhhh

So baby dont worry, you are my only,
You wont be lonely, even if the sky is falling down,
You'll be my only, no need to worry,
Baby are you down down down down down,
Dowwwnnnnn, Dowwnnnnn,
Baby are you down down down down down,
Downnnnn, Downnnnnn,
Lil Wayne: Ahoo, Ahoo, Ahoo,

Even if the sky is falling down,
Downnnnn, Downnnnn

____________________

When you think you're right, then you should know when to quit.

It's a healthy choice.

Autumn's Concerto

I just started watching this Taiwanese Drama. :)
I hope you too would watch this. I heard that ABS-CBN already purchased the rights to show this drama this year. But I don't know when. Anyway, I starting to like this, and kinikilig ako. Haha! :) Maybe because nakaka-relate ako sa kwento at sa illness ni Guang Xi (Vanness Wu). I even cried sa isang episode kung saan  tinurukan siya sa lower spine, that happened to me when I was confined and diagnosed.

More over, at least I have a reason na para gumising at umuwi ng maaga. :)

Good morning, world!

____________________

A humorous question:

Which way would you go?

Right when there's nothing left?

Or left when there's nothing right?

Alam mo ba kung bakit hindi ko magawang maiinggit?
Dahil alam kong hindi iyon ang dapat na maramdaman.
Na dapat, mula sa iyo, kukuha ako ng lakas.
Kukuha ako ng pag-asa.
Sa mga taong tulad mo lang ako makakakuha ng ganoong bagay.

Kaya alam ko na hindii dapat.

Darating ang panahon na titigil ako at lalayo.
Mamumuhay ng tulad dati..
Babalik ako sa ganoon, alam ko iyon.

Ibigay mo lang ang panahon na ito.
At kung sakali, tatanggapin ko ang totoo..

Na may mga bagay na sadyang hanggang doon na lang..
Kahit pinipilit ko.

:)

Reserve the sound of your voice for other people. God hears only what's in your heart.

We're losing our individuality.

So sad.

Let's do it grandly next time.

I'm a bit dirty right now.

- A Love To Kill

I am not happy anymore.

HIATUS

Noong sinabi niya sa akin iyon, hindi ko napigilan ang sarili ko na magtanong.
"Ano ba ang pakiramdam ng 'hindi na masaya'?"
Hindi ko alam kung bakit ko ba iyon naitanong. Sadya na lamang ito lumabas sa aking bibig na para bang humihingi agad ng tamang kasagutan.
" Ano nga ba? Siguro dahil dumating na lang talaga sa puntong hindi na ako masaya. Hindi dahil ayoko sa inyo o ano pa man, sa akin. Ako ang may problema." Sabi n'ya.
"Malungkot ba?" Tanong ko.
"Masakit. Kasi hindi na ako masaya." Balik na sagot n'ya.
"Ano kaya ang pakiramdam ng ganyan? Iyon bang kahit gusto mo pang magpatuloy, pero hindi ka na masaya. At hindi mo na kaya." Pahayaag ko.

***

Nakakalungkot mang isipin, bakit ba tayo dumarating sa puntong nagsasawa na? Bakit ba dumarating tayo sa puntong ang dating ipinaglaban natin, ngayon buong puso na nating iiwan? Na bakit dumarating ang panahong ang dating nagpapasaya, bumubuo at kumukumpleto ng araw at buhay natin- nagiging dahilan ng bawat paggising, ngayon ay tayo na mismo ang napapagod at lumalayo??

Bakit nga ba??

____________________

Just stay with me now. Say the word and well go.
I'll be your teacher. I'll show you the ropes.
Youll see a side of love you've never known.
I can see it going down, going down.

In my head, I see you all over me.
In my head, you fulfill my fantasy.
Youll be screaming no.
In my head, its going down.
In my head, its going down.
In my head. Yeah. In my head. Oh yeah.

- In My Head

Jason Derulo

____________________

 

" Ang lapit mo na.. pero hindi kita matanaw. Siguro kailangan mo lang lumayo, para makita kita ng mas malinaw. Pasensya, far sighted eh.. " :D

 

" Sa lahat ng hinala.. IKAW lang ang tama. " :D

 

Shift.

Sa trabaho ko.. walang sinasanto kahit may sakit ka pa.
Kapag pang-umaga, pang-umaga.
Kapag pang-gabi, umiyak ka man ihi, pang-gabi ka.
Mas malala kung inaantok-antok ka pa. Malas mo.

Pero ako, dalawang linggo pa lang ako noon, inilagay na ako sa umaga.
Di ko naman alam kung bakit. Siguro dahil ayaw nila akong makita.
Tatlo lang kasi kami sa umaga.

Pero ngayon, balik na naman ako sa endless nights of sleepiness ko.
Pang-gabi eh, no choice.

***

Bakit ganun? Ang daming mahihina ang isipan sa panahon ngayon?
Para bang napakahirap para sa kanila ang umunawa?
Oh sadya lang talaga silang walang isip??

***

Alam mo kung ano ang masakit? Iniisip mo kasi na talagang MAY TAMANG PANAHON.
Kahit wala naman talaga. Right time is every TIME.. Bakit hindi na lang mag-risk? Bakit hindi na lang subukan, para malaman? Hindi ba't ganyan ang ginagawa ng ilan? At iilan lang din sa kanila ang HINDI nagsisi. Of course, magsisisi ka talaga. At least nalaman mo, hindi mamaya, hindi bukas, o hindi sa tinatawag mong someday ang RIGHT TIME- kundi NGAYON. Ngayon mismo ang tamang panahon at tamang pagkakataon..

***

Naisip ko lang kasi, bakit ba naghihintay ka pa??

____________________

YB Pogs. Hehe.. :)

______________________

Why?

Why do I keep on thinking about it when I know the answer?
Why do I keep on trying when I know I'll only leave at the end?
Why do I keep on pretending that I am and was really eager to have it, when I know, deep down in the bottom of hell, I won't?

It's just, it was so annoying..
Can't help but think about it a billion times.

***

Ahahaha! :) Tama!

from: Wilma Saavedra Nagera

____________________

All this time you were pretending
So much for my happy ending..

My Happy Ending

Avril Lavigne

Oh oh
So much for my happy ending

Oh oh
So much for my happy ending

Oh oh, oh oooooh....

Let's talk this over
It's not like we're dead
Was it something I did?
Was it something you said?

Don't leave me hangin'
In a city so dead
Held up so high
On such a breakable thread (breakable thread)

[Pre-Chorus:]
You were all the things I thought I knew
And I thought we could be

[Chorus:]
You were everything, everything that I wanted
We were meant to be, supposed to be
But we lost it (but we lost it)
All of the memories, so close to me
Just fade away
All this time you were pretending
So much for my happy ending

Oh oh,
So much for my happy ending (Oh oh, oh oh)

Oh oh,

You've got your dumb friends
I know what they say
They tell you I'm difficult
But so are they (So are they)
But they don't know me
Do they even know you? (Even know you)
All the things you hide from me
All the shit that you do (All the shit that you do)

You were all the things I thought I knew
And I thought we could be

[Chorus:]
You were everything, everything that I wanted
We were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it
all of the memories, so close to me, just fade away
All this time you were pretending
So much for my happy ending

It's nice to know that you were there,
Thanks for acting like you cared
And making me feel like I was the only one
It's nice to know we had it all
Thanks for watching as I fall
And letting me know we were done


[Chorus:]
He was everything, everything that I wanted
We were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it
And all of the memories, so close to me, just fade away
All this time you were pretending
So much for my happy ending...

[Chorus:]
You were everything, everything that I wanted
And we were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it
And all of the memories, so close to me, just fade away
All this time you were pretending
So much for my happy ending

Oh oh,
So much for my happy ending
Oh oh, oh oh
So much for my happy ending

Oh oh, oh oh,
Oh ooooh....

____________________

Unang araw ng taon! :)

Firework - Katy Perry

Happy and hopeful.

Looking forward.

***

THE YEAR OF THE RABBIT, 2011

02/03/2011 - 01/22/2012 (Metal)

According to the Chinese Zodiac, the Year of 2011 is the Year of the Rabbit, which begins on February 3, 2011 and ends on January 22, 2012.  The Rabbit is the fourth sign of the Chinese Zodiac, which consists of 12 animals signs.  The Rabbit is a lucky sign.  Rabbits are private individuals and a bit introverted.  People born in the Year of the Rabbit are reasonably friendly individuals who enjoy the company of a group of good friends.  They are good teachers, counselors and communicators, but also need their own space.

According to Chinese tradition, the Rabbit brings a year in which you can catch your breath and calm your nerves.  It is a time for negotiation.  Don't try to force issues, because if you do you will ultimately fail.  To gain the greatest benefits from this time, focus on home, family, security, diplomacy, and your relationships with women and children.   Make it a goal to create a safe, peaceful lifestyle, so you will be able to calmly deal with any problem that may arise.

The Sign of the Rabbit

People born in the Year of the Rabbit share certain characteristics:  Keen, wise, fragile, tranquil, serene, considerate, fashionable, and kind.  Generally, they are quite calm, do not exhibit aggressive behavior, and will avoid confrontation at all costs.  When angry about something, they will approach it calmly and considerately, hardly ever raising their voice.  And they are quite keen and pay close attention to the situations developing around them.  They are intelligent and quick, and can talk themselves in or out of most situations with no problem.

The Rabbit is a symbol for mercy, elegance, and worship of beauty.  People born in the Year of the Rabbit are kind, loving persons, and dislike any hostile act.  They give others an impression of being frail-looking because of their gentle appearance.  But, in fact they are strong-minded and have strong wills.  They pursue their ideals all their lives in a precise and orderly way.  They do things slowly and deliberately because of their cautious characters.

There is no need to worry about their lives.  They are nimble, clever and good at avoiding harm to themselves. They are talented and like artistic ventures, such as painting and music and are generally quite present in these worlds.  They are also very hospitable, good hosts and warm-hearted companions.  They never embrace others in public places.  They know the art of saving face and giving consideration to the interests of both sides.

People born in the Year of the Rabbit are apt to be sensitive to ailments and to have bad allergies.  Stress or conflict will detriment their health.  Exercise could take off unnecessary stress and strengthen their physical condition.  They have to learn to incorporate more action into their everyday routines.   

They will become depressed and withdrawn if their homes do not consist of beautiful possessions that make them comfortable.  Their homes and offices usually are clutter-free.  They have really good communication skills and are best utilized in positions of management.  They make great teachers and counselors because they are so diplomatic and well-organized.  They can also make great painters or musicians due to their sense of beauty and their love of creativity.

Rabbit people are usually relatively careful when it comes to their finances.  They use much of their money for possessions such as their homes, cars or furniture.  They love hunting for antiques, arts and crafts and will tend to make sound investments in these types of things.

 ***